Martinis and third parties

My past relationship ended because of a third party. Third, fourth, fifth and maybe even a sixth party. Haha!

I kinda miss having a boyfriend though. One you could flirt with, and at the same time, Love with all that you are. But I always end up the one being only flirted with. And not loved. Desired but not owned. I feel like a mistress here you know? Does it feel so good because it's wrong? Or it's wrong that's why it feels good? I hope he realize which side he really wants. I'm not being serious or anything. I don't know the girl. It's just that I feel bad for her. Because I've been there. And yet I'm doing this now. I know what it feels like being cheated on. and yet I'm helping a boy cheat on the love of his life, with me.

It bothers me sometimes. Aren't they happy with where they are at? Isn't he satisfied with her? Is she losing her touch? Or is it just me? Is it because I'm his first love? Eto naman si ako, gora lang. Am I being the bitch here? OMG, I forgot. Yes, I'm the bitch here. I can't help it.

To the girl, sorry if I'm starting to ruin your togetherness. It's not really my fault that your guy keeps on sticking onto me. Okay, well, part of it is because of me. I apologize for that.

To the guy. Hey there. :) Nakakaaning na noh? Haha
I don't know if you'll for me. Again. Or if I'll fall for you. I just hope that when that happens, you'll know what to do. You know you can't undo things. You know it's impossible not to hurt anyone. But don't mind me, I'm just playing in.
For now :) I hope that as early as now, you'd be able to reflect on what you can and will do. We're big now. From me being your muse, and you being my escort, we have come a long way now. And it's all right to end it. Because I know about her.:)
I'll understand. I promise I will. You have no idea. :)