green machines

This is my other look. That animal print top right there is actually a dress. I paired it up with a high waist skirt and a belt. The blazer is from a thrift shop at Baguio, got it for 250php. :) I love this blazer cos I can actually flip it from the inside-out. It's really cool :)

Okay, I'm done haha:)

Manila Day: Falcon strikes!

So, last night I was actually thinking of writing a "bad boy" blog. But then again, when i woke up this morning, I was not in the mood. And the weather is very gloomy. I have no classes. It's Manila day. But you cant really enjoy it because Falcon, the typhoon is currently clashing with the country hahaha what?! So instead, I put on these clothes, took my camera and took pictures of myself. It's really hard, just so you know, to take full body shots of yourself. by yourself hahahaha!
Tadaaaa!

that jacket was given to me by my mom last night. I asked it from her. actually she voluntarily gave it to me. Hahaha. And the dress underneath it is from Mint.
This is my look for the rainy season lol!

Love Story

Have I been in love?

Have you ever signed a slumbook before? I love signing those things!
There's that one question that's really not suited for 9-year old kids haha!
"Have you ever been in love?"

i am now a 19-year old hopeless romantic. I have had 3 ex's. And out of the blue, I asked myself. Have I really been in love? And you know what I said to myself?
No.

Friends who know me when I'm in a relationship may think that I am a die-hard lover. And I don't know why. (omg i cant believe I'm writing a love blog while watching an action movie: A-Team hahaha!) I, too, think of that with myself. But looking back, I don't know what happens with me when I think that I seem to be in a "love" state. Or at least that's what I think it is...

My first boyfriend was when I was 12. I know right?! ang aga kong lumandi haha! We went out for a month! Okay, not really "went out". We were "official" for a month or so. I was the one who broke up with him. and I dont even remember why. and you know what, I felt nothing after that. He's friends with my HS friends. and have just broken up with his 2-year-or-so cute girlfriend. Nanghinayang nga ko sa kanila eh.

My second boyfriend was when I was 15. He was a friend of my friend. We all hung out together. And eventually, I fell for him first. And then he fell for me. That relationship was the hardest because we both got in trouble with my mom and aunt. So many things happened and there came a point where we never really got to see each other. We wrote each other love letters. He would sometimes sneak into our house. And we would talk to each other whispering. He was my first kiss. Ah, forbidden love. After 3 months, he broke up with me. But he never said it. He just made me feel it; didnt answer my calls and texts and stuff. I cried. Oh god, I REALLY CRIED. First heartbreak. Maybe that's why it took me like 8 months or so to move on and forget about everything. I dont really know if he was my first love. I dont think so. Right now, he is happily living with his girlfriend after me, and their soon to be 1-year old son. I am truly happy for them :)

My third and recent boyfriend was when I was 17. My first real boyfriend, I should say. Because we studied at the same school and all that. Until he didnt want to study anymore. Gago kasi e haha! We went out. Did things that lovers say and do. I was really happy with him. He used to be the it-guy at campus because he's really really really a good dancer. and it turns me on lol! My friends had a crush on him pa nga eh. Haha. I loved him but he has this "attitide" of being ma-pride and all that. People could tell that I loved him more than he loved me. And that's just sad. We broke up. We talked about it. But I didnt really want it to end, but I just agreed with it 'cause I was really hurt. And I guess I became tired of being a push-over and being the one attached at all times to his hip. So you could say that he was the one who broke up with me. After like a year, we got together again. It was my 18th birthday, I invited him and a few friends. Got a little tipsy and all. Next thing you know, he's with me at an annual school medical check-up. We never really talked about anything. But he did tell me that he's not looking for anything serious. I couldnt do anything about it. I didnt need to. Just as long as he was with me. That was all I really cared about. And then I found out that he had another girlfriend. and another one. And flirts with another one. and another one? What a bitch right? I got really hurt. Again. And since then I didnt talk with him ever again. And that's how it ended. No closure.

So with my question, I just came up with the conclusion that I just thought that I have been in love. But I'm really not sure about that though. I think that with my second boyfriend, I have just been overwhelmed because I never got to actually hang out with my first one. Oh my, I was twelve for pete's sake. And I had the impression that I was really in love with him because as I have said earlier, it took me months before I got over everything. I guess you dont really need to count the duration of the time you spend reminiscing and crying over that relationship. That's kind of illogical, come to think of it. And with my last "love", I guess I have just became blind and foolish and stupid. But that's what love makes you right? Okay, now I'm confused...

Whatever it is that I've felt, whatever it is that I will feel, I know that I will know IT when IT comes. or come again. And whether it would knock me off my feet, or make me take my pants off, or make me wanna be a better person, or make me wanna cry and laugh and pee, I know that it would feel right if it is love. I know that I would know it. I know that God will make me know.